


How to Apply The Art of Instant Clothes Swapping

by Hadrian_Kallig2077



Series: The Many Crack Stories of V and Silverhand [5]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Humor, Parody, Video Game Logic Taken Seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29007822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadrian_Kallig2077/pseuds/Hadrian_Kallig2077
Summary: Summary:“Boom!” V shouted, looking rather smug. Johnny’s cigarette fell from his mouth.“What the fuck?!” he shouted, incredulous at what he had just witnessed“Told ya, changing clothes quickly is an art, an art I’ve mastered”V tells Johnny about how quickly he can hop in and out of different outfits. Johnny and the rest of his friends don’t believe him, until he shows them. Naturally, it freaks a few people out.
Relationships: Panam Palmer/Male V
Series: The Many Crack Stories of V and Silverhand [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067441
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	How to Apply The Art of Instant Clothes Swapping

**Author's Note:**

> Every time V and Johnny would take control, or every time I wanted to dress up for different gigs/missions, I thought of how funny it would be if someone saw V go from Johnny’s full outfit to an Full Corporate Suit.

When V told Johnny Silverhand that he had mastered the art of instantly swapping out his clothes, there was only one response Johnny could give to that incredulous statement.

“Bullshit.” Johnny said, a cigarette on his lips, as he leaned on the walls of V’s death trap of a Megabuilding Apartment.

V shook his head, clad only in boxers after his shower. “Alright, didn’t really expect you to take my word for it. Lemme show you then. See it, and believe!” He went to his tiny wardrobe, bringing out an Armored Arasaka Suit Jacket, a white dress shirt, a suit vest, a tie, Leather Pants, Polarized Aviators, and Red Dress Shoes. He turned to Johnny. “Watch this.”

Johnny blinked. Suddenly, V stood in front of him, clad in everything he had just pulled out.

“Boom!” V shouted, looking rather smug. Johnny’s cigarette fell from his mouth.

“What the fuck?!”, he shouted, incredulous at what he had just witnessed

“Told ya, changing clothes quickly is an art, an art I’ve mastered. Never showed it to anyone, though. Was afraid I would freak somebody out.”

Johnny shook his head. This day was just getting stranger and stranger.

**Goro and Recon**

“Looks like it’s time to disguise.” muttered V. Goro turned to his ally, and what he saw shocked him. Instead of the four piece suit V was previously wearing, he had put on an old Arasaka Counterintelligence Agent suit, complete with black dress shoes and office slacks.. He had even gone as far as to change the aviators from the stylized polaroids to jet black ones.

“ _ Holy shit _ !” Goro exclaimed in Japanese. V turned to Goro, glaring harshly.

“Not a word, got it?”

Goro nodded weakly. He had no idea what the hell just happened, and to be honest, he really didn’t want to know.

**Panam and the Tank**

After his and Panam’s little...escapade, the Wraiths had attacked. V got on his clothing as quickly as he could, before he turned to Panam.

He paused.

Panam was already fully dressed, sporting her leotard, jacket, pants, and boots. Panam turned to V, almost embarrassed.

“Hey, before you say anything…” she paused. “Wait a sec, you can do it too?”

Johnny chose that moment to pop up behind V.

“Honestly V, if you don’t put a ring on that finger, I will be eternally disappointed in you.”

V couldn’t find it in himself to argue with Johnny on that one.

**Afterlife Bar**

As Johnny and V pulled up to the bar, Johnny turned to V.

“Hey, would you mind pulling out my pants, shirt, and boots?” he asked. V had, through his various gigs, found his pants and boots. The shirt Johnny had given to V after his little episode.

V paused, turning to Johnny. “Are you seriously gonna make me change right outside Afterlife? I swear, if you do, I am flushing those orange pills right down the toilet.”

Johnny shook his head. “Relax. Picked up a few things from ya. One of them being your little art in changing your clothes.”

V was still unconvinced. “I’m pretty sure it’d be better if you went around in my outfit. Come on, chicks dig the-”

Johnny glared at V. “If you say one more word about trying to convince me to wear your Corpo Monkey Wear, I’m gonna do something drastic to all those suits you buy every fuckin day.”

V straightened in horror. “You wouldn’t dare!” he shouted.

“Try me.” Johnny replied, irritated.

V and Johnny stood against each other, almost like a standoff of wills, before V sighed.

“I better not fuckin regret this, Johnny.”, before swallowing the orange pill.

Oh, V did end up regretting it. More importantly, his liver ended up regretting it, as he spent the rest of the day with a hangover from hell.

At least Johnny had kept up his end of the deal, he really had learned how to instantaneously change his clothes from V’s memories.

**Rogue POV (Grayson Mission)**

As Rogue saw V put on a replica of Johnny’s jacket, he sighed, almost irritated.

“Ok, ok, I’ll do this, but only once. You know how much I love my suits, Johnny.”.

Rogue blinked, and suddenly, V’s entire wardrobe had changed. Instead of the Red Synthsilk Blazer, Paris Blue Shirt, Black Vest, Red Tie, Polarized Aviators, Breathable Cotton Pants, and Black Formal Shoes, he was wearing Johnny’s outfit. Shirt, aviators, pants, boots, the whole works.

Rogue tripped backwards. “What the hell?!” she shouted. She’d seen a lot of crazy shit, but this was something new.

“It’s art!” V shouted back, trying to defend himself. Dammit, Johnny’s requests could go fuck themselves sideways.

**Kerry’s Mansion**

As Kerry was getting ready to call Henry, he decided to take one last look at his old friend, Johnny Silverhand.

“Hey, Ker. Watch this!” he exclaimed, as he downed the blue pill. Suddenly, almost as if by magic, the clothes the merc had been wearing (V, Johnny said.) disappeared, in its place was a four-piece suit. A red blazer with a handkerchief pocket and black etchings, a black dress shirt, a red tie, a black vest, black leather pants, and red dress shoes. Kerry spat out his drink. V held his head in his hands.

“Fuck me, is he really gonna show this to everyone?”

**Kerry’s Samurai Gig**

As Johnny walked out, Nancy and Denny looked over him with a critical eye.

“How the hell’d you change your clothes so fast?” Nancy asked. All that Corpo shit the kid was wearing couldn’t have been taken off that quickly in the bathroom. Johnny shrugged. “I can be pretty quick when I want to be.” he said, noncommittedly.

Kerry chose that moment to pop up. “Believe me, Nancy, you don’t wanna know.”

After the concert was over, Kerry and Johnny sat by the bar. He saw Johnny down the blue pill, before the clothes quickly morphed again from the grungy Rockerboy clothing of Johnny to the clothing you’d typically see in a tailor-made Jinguji order. Kerry shuddered. He was never gonna get used to that.

Behind V, Nancy’s glass of whiskey dropped and shattered on the floor. The whole room turned to look at the guitarist who had somehow instantaneously changed his clothes. V sighed, turning to his whiskey.

“I hate my life.” he grumbled.


End file.
